Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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