The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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