Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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