Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize