I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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