yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
