I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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