is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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