there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
this will be a night to untag.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
