I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
