Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
