the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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