I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
