too bad you live with your parents still
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
