That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
