I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
