i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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