just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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