matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Send help, water and tortillas.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
