Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
