I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
