THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
