I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
