Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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