Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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