butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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