There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
