you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
