im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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