Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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