32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
