Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
