I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
pray to the hookup gods
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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