I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
