doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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