Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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