Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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