He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
