so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
