You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
