Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
