I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ttyl tear gas
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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