pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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