he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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