i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
