have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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