Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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