oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
