I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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