So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
