aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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