He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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