He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
