i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
