Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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