what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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