Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Barsexuality is the new black.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
