im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
