that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
