Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
