Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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