i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
