Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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