I love black thongs
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
