Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
why is half of my head shaved?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
