The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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