Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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