a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
NoShamevember. You game?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
